Thursday, March 14, 2013

Feel free not to read this whine fest…

This time, this post is more for me and doesn’t contain any updates on my health.  Mostly, as the title says, its just a whinefest.  I’ve been feeling kind of pitiful about myself lately & decided maybe venting here would help me feel better.

Dealing with this mess is so ridiculously frustrating.  Some days, I feel pretty good & actually get things done.  Mostly I fight back the laundry monster, but I guess that’s better than nothing.  I don’t get out much.  With my immune system being so wonky & the flu being so bad this year, we decided it would probably be best if I didn’t get around large groups of people. Well, that pretty much takes going to church out of the picture.  I make quick runs to Walgreens or CVS &once in a rare while will go out to eat with my family.  Other than that, I’m just hanging around the house.  Thank goodness for Facebook.  At least that lets me stay in touch with the world.

Then, on top of the immune system mess, there’s the pain to deal with.  Sometimes my upper arms &legs ache so much it’s just ridiculous. I can’t walk very far without dealing with the pain.  So frustrating.  I have some pain medication I can take, but it’s not very strong.  I can’t take the stronger stuff.  Anything with hydrocodone in it winds me up like a top. I guess I should just be thankful I have a pain med I can take.

The kicker to all of that is I’m struggling sleeping.  I either can’t get to sleep, or I can’t stay asleep.  Some days I feel like a walking zombie.
The worst part is having to step away from my position at the church and not get to be around “my” preschoolers. Hearing them say, “Miss Jana!” and come running up for a hug made my heart so happy.  I miss those little doodlebugs so much it hurts.
So…there you go.  Just call me Miss Whinypants.  Truthfully, I am blessed to be surrounded by family & friends who love me & support me unconditionally.  Most of all, I know that God has a plan for my life that is better than anything I could have imagined.  I know this because He promised me this in His Word:
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)
“For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord . "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT)

So be truly glad.  There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.  These trials will show that your faith is genuine.  It is being tested as fire tests fire and purifies gold - though your faith is far more precious than mere gold.  So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.  (1 Peter 1: 6, 7 NLT)


Carolyn NC said...

I'm truly sorry, Jana. Sounds like it's pretty lonely and easy to get down about. We do serve a wonderful God and He holds each one of us in His hand. The good part is that He totally understands when we feel "whiny" and hurt. So don't feel bad about venting. Sometimes it helps to just get it out. I pray that you will be back soon to your little ones and running around as you did before. Blessings. :)

Jenny K said...

I was only thinking about you earlier today, and then up comes your update. I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this difficult time. It does help to express your feelings from time to time.
I do sympathise over the pain meds issue as I can't take codeine. It puts me into a time-warp and I talk to historical people who aren't there. My family think it's hilarious!!
That verse from Isaiah is really special for me too. My maternal grandmother wrote it in my Bible about 60 years ago, and it has never left me. Hang in there: we have a great God

Deb said...

You are correct not to go out where the flu is rampant. Think we are all rounding the flu corner, no matter how careful, and it is not fun...So sorry you are caged up in the house. The bright spot is having internet so you can hear from your friends! Your's is not an easy journey. But, you do have help. Wishing you better days and nights, Deb

Pam in IL said...

Sometimes we just need to voice our frustrations. You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Karen said...

Thinking of you and praying for you tonight.

It is good to have an update, even if it is a bit of a down-one.


Anonymous said...

Jana, what a trial, huh? I have been feeling much the same way! It's cabin fever and it's always worst for me in this month. But, I have a way of defeating it! I go around singing and saying, " This is the day that the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it!" Hoping and praying that the Lord will send you rest and peace and lots of his joy, because " The joy of the Lord is our STRENGTH! Love and hugs and many prayers for you, Jana! :-)
Robin Ingle from Erie, PA

DUSTY said...

We all need a good rant now and again Jana, I am so sorry that you are basically shut in and away from the little ones that bring you so much joy. Dealing with pain isn't any fun either. You have weathered a lot already so hang in there. There is a lot of people out there that understand your need to vent. When time are really bad bad just remember that God never closes a door without opening a window somewhere. His love for us is vast. As always , you are in my prayers.